A THIRD GRADE ESSAY
or, Dear Mom and Dad, this and the white poodle should have been a clue
Amongst a box of childhood relics my father had recently sent my way, I came across the following essay by yours truly, circa 1978.
Having wanted to be an author since I first learned my ABC’s, the fall announcement of a third grade essay contest was, in my mind, created for absolutely no one else but me. The topic could not have been better and I was completely convinced I would win. Given our assigned topic, how could I not? The Sound Of Music was my all time favorite film. I had seen it no less than ten times, and I had perfected walking like a nun years ago; front hallway for abbey, bath towel for wimple.
Thirty seven years later, I am happy to say that yes, my confidence was well founded and I did in fact win the essay contest. A fate that, in retrospect, is nothing less than cringe worthy. And for those wondering; yes, when asked today my father would be quick to agree with the above subtitle.
Judge for yourself. Here, in original form, spelling and grammar intact, may I present:
MY FAVORITE HOLLYWOOD MOVIE CHARACTER
by Allan G W Rae
My favorite character in the movies is a person from The Sound Of Music. She was a supporting character and that means she had less scenes and was not as important as the stars. Before I tell you who it is I will tell you it was not the nun! Her guitar that she brought everywhere and her habit of making the Von Trapp children wear drapes bothered me very much. It was weird. Because no one is that happy all the time when they take care of seven children. Especially insipid brats like that.
Instead, I liked the Baroness Schraeder. She was played by the lovely actress Elanor Parker. Why the baroness? Because she was glamorous and she was beautiful and refined. She dressed in the finest silks from Vienna. Not in drapes! She also had fabulous parties. This was told to the audience in the scene when they drive by the children in the tree. The Baroness says to Uncle Max, “I have fabulous gay parties don’t I Max”. Max agrees. I would think that the meaning of that is that Max is the kind of man who knows a good party.
Describing her today makes people disagree. They say she was mean but I think she was kind. She gave up the captain so he could marry that nun.
Those are the reasons why the Baroness Schraeder is my favorite Hollywood movie character.
