Just Another American White Chick
an article in response to Alto’s prompt
I read this article today, and it set these rusty wheels in motion again. Alexainie’s “White Girl” story was more relatable than I want to admit. Not so much the knowing that racism still exists, but more like a bloodletting. Opening a vein of what undercurrents have punctured my life.
Humans categorize things by identification. In the early years we teach our children how to name everything. At first it’s “butterfly”, then they graduate to “blue butterfly” as another identifier. Which is all well and good until those distinctive qualifiers separate us from one another.
Recently, a friend posted the video below on Facebook. I believe this is fairly representative of how most children feel about skin color.
Bottom line is, they don’t notice. Children are taught to be prejudiced. Racist. Hateful towards others because they are different.
I remember writing a report on Harriet Tubman in elementary school, during Black History month. The story of the Underground Railroad stayed with me until this day. But, that’s the thing. It remained in my mind as just another story, with no real emphasis placed on why it was important to learn, and what it all meant. It was right up there with Johnny Appleseed…
[A child mentally comparing apple propagation to slavery is only one issue with what’s lacking in our public education system.]
I went to a pretty diversified public High School. I dated boys of different ethnicities. The only time I ever tried to hide a relationship was when I dated a black guy. There was an unspoken undercurrent that something was wrong with that. That relationship quickly fizzled. There was too much pressure to conform to that invisible societal ‘norm’, for both of us.
It was like this with my friends as well. I had two black friends. Both of them were ostracized by other black students… I never could figure it out. They were some of the nicest girls I’d ever met. It seemed like everyone thought you could only be on one side of the fence, or the other.
I only ever wanted to be friends with individuals, not colors.
Oh, you’re a color? Guess what? I’m a color too!
For that reason, I found myself as a bit of an outcast too, not that it bothered me much. Less friends is better than having friends for the wrong reasons.
Now that I’m grown, I’ve only recently gone back in my memory to think of all the times I’ve seen prejudice. I can relate to some of the comments Alexainie’s Dad (see above article) made about people of color moving into the neighborhood, and agree with her statement:
“I could only see what was directly in the path of my own limited life experience …”
- Alexainie
Which brings me closer to the present time. A few years ago, my oldest daughter referred to another girl as “a black”. After I corrected her, I started talking to her about differences in people. How, if their skin was another color, or they lived with two Dads, or in a mobile home park, or if they spoke another language, that those things made no difference to the kind of person they were on the inside.
We all compare and contrast, it’s what we do with the information we absorb that shapes who we become.
I told her that she could be friends with anyone she chooses, that it’s up to her to decide if she likes that person. That it doesn’t matter what other kids think. Only her. That was it. The only requirement.
I walk for equality by my own actions, my words, by showing respect, and love to people of the world. Not just to some secret, special elite society of people — to ALL people.
I see You. Can you see Me? Am I more than just another white chick to you?
I doubt I would convince most people of color who are fighting to stay in this country today, as our current President is trying to eradicate the DACA program in his fight against immigration. Though I was not one of them, most white Americans did vote to put this man in power.
I wish I had the answers as to how ending segregation is possible. Today, I feel as helpless as many Americans to cause real change. Simply standing here and saying “this shit ain’t right” doesn’t do much.
Changing a mindset that has been ingrained from a young age isn’t an easy task. The problem remains in that an individual has to first see a flaw with their own thinking. When we are fueled by rage, anger, and stubbornness there are no real conversations to be had.
Old dogs only learn new tricks because they want to.
I remain hopeful that younger generations are the key to creating a permanent break in the chain. I’ve seen a lot of progressive companies making big changes that are innovative and forward-thinking, with large steps towards equality in both race, as well as gender.
Each new generation challenges the mold of older, more prejudiced ways of thinking. Our kids are going to be the real game changers.
I want my girls to break the damn mold and smash it to bits.
Only when the fake walls are torn down and things like class and race are seen as layers, not a whole will we all recognize that all walks of life need each other.
“Men build too many walls and not enough bridges.”
― Joseph Fort Newton
It’s really much more basic than anyone wants to admit. Acceptance is so easy to a child. Maybe we all need to go back to first grade, and pay more attention this time around.
Our walks of life may be different, but we’re still on the same Earth. Agreeing to be different, but unified is the only way forward.
I’m just another white girl, trying to lead by example, and wishing I knew how to make a real difference, faster.
“The piano keys are black and white, but they sound like a million colors in your mind.”
― Maria Cristina Mena
