The Peepster Tales

One day I. woke up to my ten brothers and five sisters. Oh yah, by the way to my name is Peep, the birds call me Peepster, I don’t like the name much. You should tell my friend that, but she got moved to a different cage. I tried to attack her because I HATE my name, Peep… yuck, I’d rather be called Berthalamue.

So that leads me to the day I’ve always been waiting to tell you about. One day, I woke to my fellow bird family chanting my name. I got so startled I flew and hit the ceiling. That ceiling! Oh I hate that darn ceiling!

Well anyways when I hit that darn ceiling I screamed. Which in bird language is Cuffensorrow. Yep, we have weird words my friend! I learned English from a book called Bird To English. It had a picture of a bird and human on the cover, go figure!

My friend Chickie said I shouldn’t learn English, and that my friend is one of the reasons I attacked her. Chickie, Ooh I hate you more than my name!

The ground struck me. “Ouch!” I said as I rubbed my head.

All of the sudden, something grabbed me! “Cuas!” I yelled, which to most human beings means help. I was out in the people world, also known as the pet store!

Jackleton, my dad always reminds me I should never go out in the people world; personally I think you should take risks, be free, and jump off a cliff! You know, do those things once in a while.

It felt so free out in the people world, so complex! But like I even know what complex means. Then I saw a hideous creature, it was a cuckenstine. Oh, let me translate for you, a girl. About twenty-three or nine, I couldn’t tell.

She petted me. And then (here is where English came in handy) the twenty-three or nine year old cuckenstine spoke, “dad, I know what I am going to name him,” “what?” The dad asked. Then the weirdest thing happened. She said “Berthalamue,” Isn’t that strange?

I’m really glad she didn’t name me Peep or Peepster. However, here’s where things get even weirder. A boy appeared and spoke quite loud, “No Lacey, it looks more like a Peepster!”

“NO!” I shrieked, but the dad broke the noise and said, “Jeremy you can call him Peepster, and Lacey can call him Berthalamue.”

“Okay Dad,” they said and walked over to the cash register. “You want to buy that bird?” The lady at the counter said in a drab voice. “Yes! And do you want to know what we are going to name him?” Lacey said practically jumping up and down.

”No,” The lady said and rolled her eyes. I liked this lady’s sense of humor. “Well, we are going to name him Berthalamue!” Jeremy glared at Lacey, “You sure you want that bird,” “Yes!” Lacey said a little bit too forceful.

My impression of this lady was starting to diminish. “You could have any of those birds.” The lady said as she leaned over the desk, “How ‘bout I cut you a deal; I’ll give you five for the price of one.”

Lacey looked at her in awe. “No,” Lacey dropped me on the counter. “I want this one!”

I knew this was my chance to fly away, I started to flap my wings, but the lady grabbed me and threw me in a box. She stabbed five holes in the box and almost poking my eye out in the process.

“Here you go.” The lady said. “That will be five dollars and thirty six cents,” The box started to jiggle up and down. I felt a huge gush of air,

I was out in the real people world.