WORLD AIDS DAY: IT’S EVERYTHING I CAN DO NOT TO VOMIT
The window is broken. We need a new window. Not the promise of a window just around the corer — but a window. Tweaking the medications is not a cure for HIV. The cheerleader rahrahs are going to tell you — they fucking lie — that the answers are right around the corner. Thirty five years of lie after lie after lie after lie.
World AIDS Day is a piece of orchestrated bullshit. Stop being so fucking stupid that you believe everything the HIV/AIDS community throws at you.
To see what will stick this year. I am beginning to wonder if antiretrovirals are really stupid pills.
To keep your spirits up.
There would be dire consequences if they told you the truth. So they lie. Welcome to AIDS.
Trot out a few celebrities. Look who I know famous people. None of whom are going to find a cure for HIV.
When they do that, we should be throwing thin plastic bags of blood at them.
It’s cheerleading. AIDS Free Generation is a slogan dreamed up by an advertising consultant.
A PUBLICIST.
How stupid are you. Pretty fucking stupid.
World AIDS day exploits your stupidity.
THE AIDS SUPPORT SYSTEM IS BROKEN AND IT CANNOT BE FIXED.
I will tell you what is around the corner. New pills. More pills. AIDS is the cash cow that just keeps giving.
80% of the people who begin treatment under the public health tent, leave. They drop out.
Only one third of the people infected with HIV and know it, are in treatment. And this is in the United States.
THIS IS HOW EFFECTIVE THEIR OUTREACH IS.
AIDS treatment has failed, but they don’t want you to know that.
80% of the people who have sought treatment fucking leave treatment.
They run.
Why.
Because they make it too hard to access.
Once you’re in treatment, they treat you like a piece of revolting shit.
If you live in remote places (like Appalachia) kiss your stupid ass goodbye, bitch.
People give up trying.
People are encouraged to give up trying by a system that is punitive. It will punish you.
How many miles are you willing to drive for pills that have copays that are more than the rent your dumb ass pays every month for that trailer you live in. One hundred. Two hundred. Three hundred.
What if you live in mountain country in the winter. What if you don’t even have a car.
There are programs in Africa that treat more people than we do. Africa.
Thinking outside the box in Africa has programs with traveling clinics. Vans drive health care to remote villages.
There is not a single program like that in the United States.
Not one.
I have been to Africa and I have seen these programs.
Are all of these people squeezed through unnecessary tests.
No.
Are they treated with contempt.
No.
Do 80% of them leave the program.
No.
What the fuck is wrong with America.
You’re stupid is what the fuck is wrong with America.
AIDS Free generation. Anything absurd a publicist can cram down your throat. You will embrace it.
Do Americans ask questions.
No.
Do Americans give up because they are not reached.
Every fucking day.
And all of this is juxtaposed against a backdrop where most people infected do not know they are infected.
If everyone who knew they were infected sought treatment, the system would implode from the sheer weight of it.
It could not function.
How many people who want to access the system because they have HIV wait months before they are even seen.
All of them.
And when you do get seen, you’re going to get a good solid dose of what your future is going to look like and it’s not pretty.
You are a piece of worthless rotting meat they are forced to treat. That is all you are. You are going to pay, and you are going to pay, and you are going to pay.
You are going to be met at the front door by cops with guns.
Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!
Fremder, Etranger, Stranger,
Glücklich zu sehen,
Je suis enchanté,
Happy to see you,
Bleibe, reste, stay.
Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome!
Im Cabaret, Au Cabaret, To Cabaret!
Meine Damen und Herren-
Mesdames et Messieurs-
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Comment ça va?
Do you feel good?
Ich bin euer Conférencier!
I am your host!
I tell young people new to the system that there are only a few options. Pick one.
- Kill yourself. Many do.
- Turn your body over to them. It will no longer belong to you. Small price to pay.
- Ask questions, get educated, see through the plethora of lies you will be told (the big push lately is for colonoscopy), and confront them. Take control of your body and your healthcare.
Now, I’m being stupid.
80% of you leave medical care once you have it.
And frankly, I can’t blame you.
They can take their little colonoscopies and shove them up their asshole because they ARE assholes.
You and whose army.
Behind door number one, the kill yourself many do door, is not as easy as it sounds. Chances are good, you’ll wake up somewhere on a psych ward tied down in restraints.
You will be referred to the waiting list for mental health services where nurse practitioners dole out medical modalities designed and implemented in the 1950s.
It is not a good time to be crazy.
Going back to the trailer and the meth you left there is cheaper than anything you’ll find at an AIDS clinic, and meth is a lot more fun.
Whenever December and World AIDS Day and the cheerleaders and the pompoms come out, GIVE US AN A, GIVE US AN I, GIVE US A D whadayagot…
The AIDS community pats its little self on the back one more year after year after year after year of a broken system and it’s everything I can do not to
